THE GREAT DISCONNECT

Why Your Best Employees Are Quietly Checking Out (And What You Can Do About It)

I had coffee last Tuesday with a CEO who couldn't understand why his "A-team" was disintegrating. On paper, everything looked perfect: competitive salaries, generous PTO, a ping-pong table in the break room. Yet three of his top performers had resigned in the past two months, and the exit interviews revealed nothing useful—just polite platitudes about "pursuing new opportunities."

"They seemed happy," he told me, genuinely baffled. "I just don't get it."

Here's what he was missing: his employees weren't unhappy. They were disconnected.

There's a distinction there that too many leaders overlook, and it's costing American businesses billions in turnover, lost productivity, and institutional knowledge that walks out the door with a two-week notice.

The Invisible Exodus

We're living through what I call "The Great Disconnect"—and it's different from the Great Resignation we witnessed post-pandemic. People aren't leaving because they're burned out or chasing work-life balance anymore. They're leaving because they don't feel seen. They don't feel like their work matters. And most critically, they don't feel like anyone in leadership actually knows them.

I see it constantly in my work. High-performing professionals who check every box, who deliver results quarter after quarter, who are "engaged" by every metric HR tracks—yet they're emotionally checked out. They're working, but they're not connected. And disconnected employees don't stay.

The data backs this up. Gallup's latest research shows that 70% of employee engagement is directly tied to their manager. Not their salary. Not their benefits package. Not the company mission statement on the wall. Their manager.

The Real Problem: Transactional Leadership

Here's the uncomfortable truth: most management in America has become purely transactional. We assign tasks, monitor completion, provide feedback in scheduled intervals, and repeat. It's efficient. It's measurable. It's also soul-crushing.

I watched this play out recently with a client who was hemorrhaging talent in their engineering division. The engineering manager was technically brilliant, met every deadline, and ran his team "by the book." Yet engineers kept leaving. Why?

Because no one knew that Sarah was struggling with her father's declining health and needed flexibility around medical appointments. No one knew that Marcus had been bypassed for a promotion three years ago and was still carrying that disappointment. No one knew that the entire team felt their innovative ideas were being dismissed without real consideration.

The manager knew their work. He didn't know them.

What Disconnection Costs You

Let's talk numbers for a moment, because leaders respond to metrics.

The cost of replacing an employee ranges from 50% to 200% of their annual salary, depending on the role. For a mid-level position at $80,000, you're looking at $40,000 to $160,000 in recruitment, onboarding, training, and lost productivity.

Now multiply that by your annual turnover rate.

But the real cost isn't just financial—it's cultural. When good people leave, they take relationships, morale, and trust with them. The people who stay start wondering if they should update their résumés too. Your culture erodes from the inside out.

The Connection Imperative

So what's the answer? It's simpler than you think, but it requires something many leaders find uncomfortable: genuine human connection.

I'm not talking about forced fun or performative empathy. I'm talking about actually knowing the people you lead. Understanding what motivates them beyond a paycheck. Recognizing their strengths and helping them grow. Creating an environment where people feel valued as humans, not just as resources.

Here's what this looks like in practice:

1. Regular, Real Conversations Not performance reviews. Not status updates. Actual conversations about career aspirations, challenges, wins, and what matters to them. Schedule 30 minutes monthly with each direct report with no agenda except connection.

2. Listen More Than You Talk When someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to immediately solve it. Ask questions. Understand the full context. Make people feel heard before you offer solutions.

3. Recognize the Person, Not Just the Output Yes, celebrate the closed deal and the launched product. But also recognize the person who stayed late to mentor a junior colleague, who brought creative thinking to a problem, who demonstrated your company values when no one was watching.

4. Create Psychological Safety People disengage when they're afraid—afraid to admit mistakes, afraid to share ideas, afraid to show vulnerability. Leaders who create safety create connection.

5. Be Consistent, Not Perfect You don't need to be everyone's best friend. You need to be someone they can count on—consistent in your expectations, your support, and your integrity.

The Reset

That CEO I mentioned earlier? We implemented a 90-day "connection reset" in his organization. Leaders at every level committed to deeper engagement with their teams. They started asking better questions. They created space for honest dialogue. They invested in knowing their people.

Three months later, employee engagement scores were up 28%. More importantly, the quiet exodus stopped. People started talking about the company differently—with energy, with ownership, with connection.

The truth is this: people don't leave jobs. They leave disconnection. They leave feeling invisible, undervalued, and interchangeable. They leave when their manager treats them like a function instead of a human being.

Your best employees aren't asking for much. They're not demanding six-figure raises or corner offices. They're asking to be seen. To be known. To matter.

The question is: are you paying attention?

Eve Nasby is the Principal of Infused, a recruiting and talent strategy firm that helps organizations build exceptional teams. With over two decades of experience in talent acquisition and leadership development, Eve partners with companies to create cultures where great people want to stay. Connect with her at eve@infused.work.